Life is shitty but there's always toilet paper...

where there is peace and quiet. Where I would not fear for the people surround me. Where my heart will not ache and wish to be in another place. Where I could be just me. Where I can breathe easily and not hear my heart cry out of frustration or deception. I want to go to that place, that world where I can be me, where I can be free and at peace to be with me. Where I can be respected, where I can dream without being laugh at. Or even question for dare to dream. I want to go to that place where I went when I was a little girl imagined, that place is called Elbor. Is a place where the river's water is crystal clear, the heart feels at ease, the earth is one with the human, and the human is one with its surroundings, the citizen do not meddle in petty dramas, neither  interfere in verbal fights among men. They do not dare to hear what the other utters, but are quick to move when there is an innocent at stake, or a person bleeding to death. Where is Elbor? I fear I had lost my way while I have been jailed down in an disenchanted island, whose glitz and beauty has faded because of her children. She is careless what they do to her. I sometimes wonder if the road back to it is in my blood but I a coward once again to dare to look at my blood, I could pop some pills and be done with it. But it never works. I end up falling asleep and waking up with a headache. I am tired of people looking me down and spitting me at my face cursing me, pushing me down. I am at a point where I can do it any longer. I want to be back to Elbor. To the place where the land is green, the light is warm and the soil is soft. The bird chirp happily to one another. Why I was not able to go there some years ago why I had to wake up once again to a reality that kills my very spirit as I breath the air through my lungs. My heart is at a point that is wishing to be free. It is tired on being tied down by the haters. It needs to move away from this place.