Life is shitty but there's always toilet paper...

I got to love this song! I used to go t 汉语课 while I listened to this song. Zhou mi gentle Mi Mi his notes in this song yikes used to send me chills down the spine.

This song is so beautiful! I guess song like this comes up when you need to hear them and when you do they are stuck in your heart and in your brain!

                                                     ( Source: caribbeanramblings)
In honor of the week that I turned 28 years old an age that I had several expectation for regardless if they were reach or even half-way there I had always the best of hopes for this number in my life. I always imagine that by age 28 I will be a mature adult woman. That I will be working or in the process of earning a higher degree in this case it would had been idealy a Ph.D. Do not get me started on me getting married at this age, jaja or expecting my first child by this age. Hmm funny I have never seen myself with a child by this age but married yes. But alas those were childhood expectations and now in the week that I turned 28 the reality is other.

I admit is a little bit scary that in 2 years I will be turning 30 an age where I always assimilated wih gray hairs. I am crossing fingers  that I will get my hair genes from my father's side and not get them until well entered in my 40s unlike on my mom's side they get it as early as in their early 20s.

During this past week as part of my recuperation process from the drama of my family and going from feeling betrayed to the point of being disgusted by SHK the rat player. I been hearing a lot of the music that I used to hear when I was younger. Heck I am still young at heart!

( Source: menudalatina18 y fanpix )

I could not help to notice that most of the music that I grew up with has been from boybands. Starting in my womb's I was subject to hear through her the boyband menudo from there up until my early tweens then came the Backstreet Boys along with N'Sync. Afterwards the discovery  of the internet from my part and my first introduction to Asian boybands with F4 and the rest is history. It was F4 along with Gackt that age 14 where I began developing my interest for Asian men. jaja I used to have a huge crush on Ken, because he was so approachable and so cute. Jaja.

Up until this day I go nuts with boybands, sure not as hardcore as I used to when I used to say that I was either the wife of Andy or Ricky III or even Anthony back when I was tween but I still get my knees with by hearing the voice of Yesung from Super Junior, feel warm by Jaejoong( now JYJ and then TVXQ) and Kyuhyun from Super Junior or almost faint when I hear Choikang Changmin from TVXQ hitting the high notes.



( Source: spcnet.tv )








              ( TVXQ, Source: animando-otaku-love   )

( Super Junior with my bias in the middle of Stage,				Yesung. Source: Yesung's twitter taken from New Times )

SO after doing a recompilation of songs from these boybands I had to stop and think. Is it ironic that the women from my generation grew- up with boybands and still listens to them? I was first considering on doing a playlist of all the boyband songs that have marked my life but at the same time show how the boyband concept has grown from what it was once upon a time into what we know now as Kpop boybans which is at times overwhelming even for the  ones that are not easily surprised. The playlist contains all the boybands that has helped shaped    what we know now  of suck concept.

I feel like once a new year begins I get older and my weight digs in my shoulder. But this year I get a different vibe this time. I started to clean my room back in November slowly. I admit the process was more of a mental state than physical. I still need to get rid of some stuff but that will be after I am done with the thesis. Almost there with that!

Many have asked me if I have done any resolutions for me this year. I did several, not the usual. Well I want to work out more than I do currently and maybe but my anemia into oblivion. Then eat healthier but first I need to get a job in order to do that. Food has become expensive in here and quite impossible to do in Puerto Rico! Is cheaper in here to eat junk than to eat healthy. Love myself and re-take on things that made me happy and still do. Like practicing belly dancing,  I am surprise that my body still has some memory of it. I have never taken formal classes. I am one of those who had taught herself with the aids of vids in youtube. Is something I have been doing for almost 12 years. I blame O Clone for that, and for making me fall in love with Arab culture to some extent.

Then I did unconsciously a resolution, was to not take shit from men. I did it today and I was caught of guard when I did it. That was to unmasked a liar. It took me several tears and several doubts from September to now to do it. It was because a message posted in his facebook wall. The irony of it he has been playing me and the other women. I doubted myself, does this seem stalkerish? She left her email in his facebook wall for everyone to see I am referring to his contacts in there. I  gather all my courage and wrote her a long email. And send it hoping that she will not take it the wrong way. She did not take it that way. To my surprise she had also been suspicious from the very beginning. She also got sort of a marriage proposal. The same words the same speech and the same lies. We also came to the conclusion that the pics he has in his facebook as well in his profile in Korean Cupid are his. Sure I have met a great guy in there whom I have interacted with over webcam but him? We only spoke through messenger, text and phone.  I am just glad that I did myself a favor and  got it off my chest. I felt as I wrote her the email a weigh getting lift from my heart and my heart skipped a beat. And when she reply my heart jump from joy. Weird is it? And a certain person got to tell me I told you so.

Aside from that I got a feeling that this year is the start of my life getting on rail towards the one where it will lead it to where it should go. I feel that this year all eyes are on me.

Although I had not been that active lately in my blog I took a moment to wish you all a Happy Holiday Season 2011-12!

I took the challenge to take a semester of Mandarin and I survived. Sure it made me lack a bit in  the f2nd draft of my thesis but it help me take a semester break from the monster. I need it! As frustrating as it was turning I decided to become lazy in the thesis writing, well I review some of the suggestions from my thesis committee from my Mandarin studying break. Otherwise I would had mentally broke-down in frustration with it.


I am glad the effort pay off... I got an A in the class. But to my regret I will no longer take the second semester as a register course, I am going to take as an auditor student. Meaning in case I get a job offer and I am done with the thesis by February I will have time to dedicate to other things as well, maybe visit the familia in New York? Hmm maybe find a fling in that states while I am there. I know from past experience that I have better luck with guys that are not from Puerto Rico or I have not meet in here even if they are foreigners.Also start going freely to job interviews related to my field... ehem that means traveling to the United States but I am also expanding my options to other countries as well. Please let it be Heavens in 2012 the year I regain back my independence. Is pretty awkward when I am almost 28 years old and still struggling to find a job and living with dear mom.

I know is been a bit of a long while since I've posted here but in case I do not stop by in Halloween... Happy Samhain!